Chernobyl

Chernobyl should have been released in October. With its subject matter and direction, it carries aaaalllllll the symptoms of a classic horror. The decision to take the story deep into that territory was perfect. What’s mostly so scary is that it’s not science fiction, it’s science nonfiction. After a nuclear meltdown at the Russian Chernobyl power plant in 1986, toxic radiation saturates the town of Pripyat, Ukraine USSR. While one could easily surmise the white men haphazardly saving the white man from the white men is the antagonist in this tale, the real killer in this story is virtually silent and invisible - nuclear radiation. Where the showmakers could have depended on a lot of horror tropes like jump scares and high tension to deliver fear, they simply rely on the actual reality of the story.

Chernobyl arrives at a perfect time. The political turmoil happening right now sounds like a deep echo from Russia’s past. A lot of young adults have heard of the nuclear tragedy but aren’t very familiar with its details. Through this tale, we learn about the cost of ‘LIIIIIES’ and the serious, snowball effects of them, vs. the cost of truth. HBO took a brilliant true story and packaged it in that glossy, gorgeous way only HBO can do. Now, biopics can definitely suck, (see; Lifetime), but I’m not sure the network has ever made a bad show. Since seeing the freshly starved GoT fans welcome Chernobyl with open arms, I’ve been torturing myself to really rack my brain about what is so appealing to the show, and I keep coming back to the basic story of it all. Chernobyl will surely get Emmy nominations, (CALLED IT) the acting is careful and refrained, the direction nailed the mise-en-scene, and it fits a quirky criteria like Limited series. But why, really, does everyone love it so much? It’s because of the story. This was a surefire, no-fail plan that some genius at HBO decided on. The subject matter is fool-proof, unlike the ‘fool-proof’ nuclear test. Incredible stories make for incredible TV. 

One major aspect HBO keeps nailing time and time again, is finding attentive, distinct directors with every show they make. When I refer to the direction generally I’m saying the ‘arrangement of everything placed in the frame,’ the mise-en-scene. Chernobyl is five episodes of extremely well-crafted television. We’re witnessing that perfect amalgam of great concept, screenwriting, acting, production design, and overall effect. Seeing the courtroom scenes smattered with cold, staring eastern bloc faces made me wonder what the casting call must’ve requested. The music groans like a contorted siren, mimicking that pillow effect you get from going to a loud concert. The fuzziness of the radiation-measuring dosimeters match the grainy film. That scene of children playing in the debris from the blast, all slow-mo and blurry…we essentially watch them make snow angels out of nuclear ash. It’s chilling. 

What I really need to say about Chern-chern, as I call it, is that it feeds the deep rooted tragedy-lover in me who craves to see the face melting, monster-making version of this story. I look at it as a glorious nihilist-pleasing sh*tshow that just so happened to have happened. Nuclear tragedy brings utter despair. We witness the immediate and gradual decay of the local first responders and power plant workers. Big boss Dyatlov, acting as the ‘Snape’ in this story, refuses the obvious facts with a cold, demeaning nature. He should have died right away, as he was physically close to the actual blast. But karma came for him cuz he spent a decade in prison for his mishandling of the disaster. How wild is that?! When a man appears with his skin disintegrating, puking like a coed, Dyatlov is like “ugh take him to the nurse I guess.” Dyatlov is a real life antagonist.

While the human peril is easy to follow in this story, the science of it all isn’t. The actual events of the blast never get explained thoroughly until the very end, during the trial. But I suppose that’s what actually happened, huh? The situation was shrouded in secrecy as the world searched for facts. The USSR was a socialist state until 1991, obsessed with its world reputation being portrayed as nothing but a superpower. They wouldn’t show any error or wrong moves, and buried anything painting them as incompetent, foolish, or weak. (This reminds me of a reality tv personality - any guesses? Yes, RHOBH star Lisa Vandertrump! Except LVP would NEVER order the shooting of dogs, no matter how deadly they may be.)

Personally I see the show as Why We’re F**ked; Humanity - an Observation - to be filed under Nihilism, exhibit A-Z 5. Loved it. But will the recent Emmy nods elicit an inapplicable season two??

Stranger Things 3

I love when a show gets released as it takes place, seasonally or around a holiday. Stranger Things premiered in July but took place during November. ST 2 was released around Halloween, with the story taking place at the same time. Now we have a summery ST 3 to watch betwixt our countless hot dogs and Roman candle misfires…..but has the song remained the same?

Stranger Things 3 has shaken things up a bit. This moody tween still has angst, bite, mystery, and monsters. But she’s traded in her scratchy autumnal sweaters for a festive summer dress. As the show has seemed to up their budget, (that CGI laser gun sequence, anyone??) the city of Hawkins, Indiana has upgraded from 1983’s earth tones and corduroy, main street mom and pop shops, to 1985’s preppy pastels, neons, loud prints, and a shiny new local mall to match. There has been a major tone shift on the show. We were settled into a fall time groove with dark early evenings and cozy costuming. Now we’ve been thrown into the dog days and someone switched the lights on. Hopper and Joyce are laughing and shooting the shit. The Starcourt Mall set is stuffed to the gills with Reagan-era signage and six thousand extras donning plastic jewelry and fluffy perms. The kids traverse a sunny green hill, and the visual is jarringly stark. Suddenly it’s a classic mid-80’s film, filled with camera work and tropes we’ve seen before. In the span of the first episode we hear about eight modern bops. The gang bands together for a surprise ‘welcome home’ for Dustin complete with a cheesy movie score. We’re cannonballed into jovial pool scenes with bodice ripper readers drooling over Billy the lifeguard, a shopping montage, a fiery new female, makeouts, and dispiriting internships at the local sexist-run newspaper. The camera slowly tracks up as music builds to reveal a fan favorite, science teacher Mr. Clarke. What once felt independent and unique now feels like watered-down American cinema. Seriously, I felt like I was watching a movie. Are we here for this change? One could easily argue these are purposeful techniques to give us that authentic 80’s feel. But to a more critical, cynical eye, (AHEM,) it’s tired. It’s cliche. It’s distracting from the actual substance these showmakers put before us. However, once the dust settled, we got right back into the groove we all know and love. The mood is hopeful as everyone’s sure their monster issues have been handled. But as us viewers expect, things just keep getting stranger…

The tone shift is great! It’s refreshing, it’s fun, it’s exciting. But can we say the same about the plot? I’m going to start by quoting myself, if I MAY BE SO BOLD. Three years ago I wrote - “The moment season one of Stranger Things ended, my husband and I got into a 1am ninety minute civilized yet shouty discussion of the future of the show, where we hoped it would go, and where we believed it would go….. I…felt so shockingly satisfied by the way the season ended, that I lamented and wished the next season would be a new “book in the series”, so to speak. Why keep on a story that feels so conclusive? Sure, this may only be a peek into the overall story, but I’m so happy with what I’ve seen! I don’t want to see more of these people in this place with this situation! I was distinctly shown this story is a book, wouldn’t the end of the season be the end of the book? Can’t we have another book in the series of Stranger Things, about some other, absurd and intriguing stranger things?? ST ended on SUCH a satisfying note, some of us want the show as an anthology series instead of an overwrought, wrung-dry slave to the moneymaking Netflix machine. Thomas has a very optimistic point of view with how the story will progress. (I don’t think it’ll be bad, season two, no.) I am pessimistic though. Why tamper with a good thing? Why not let it lie?” 

After viewing ST 3, I can proudly declare my fears were valid. We have now witnessed the same story three times. Season one consisted of; missing persons, the demogorgon, scientists, telekinetic powers, body snatching, Hopper going ham, the upside down, and what I refer to as the inside out (the dark place El goes to with the watery floor.) Season two; missing persons, demodogs, scientists, telekinetic powers, body snatching, Hopper going ham, the upside down, the inside out, and the Mind Flayer. Season three; missing shoppers, rat monsters, russian scientists, telekinetic powers, body snatching, Hopper going ham, the inside out, and the Mind Flayer. Is anyone else frustrated by this? At the end of season two, I distinctly remember turning to my husband and declaring “so we’re back to where we started, right?” What was it all even for, then? The Mind Flayer is back on his bullshit. Can we at least agree the Mind Flayer is a ‘he’?? Not to assume genders or gender roles, heaven forbid, but like, Mrs. Mind Flayer is probably sitting at home with some cold, corpse-y meal, wondering why he hasn’t called to say he’d be three seasons late. I’m starting to think there is no chance of defeat, especially since this season just broke every viewer record Netflix has (!!!) Within its first four days, 40.7 million accounts streamed Stranger Things 3. But obviously mine was one of them. Because at the end of the day, the show is entertaining! I may have issues with how cyclical the story is, (El’s all like “wait didn’t I just close the gate? I swear we just dealt with this exact thing.”) but there’s no doubt I’m mourning the end of the season, and am already excited for season four. 

A few more things and then I’m done I swear. The show currently spans two years and has taken at least three to film. These teen actors are aging like…well….teenagers. Noah Schnapp (Will) felt like a twenty year old playing twelve. We’re all just gonna have to keep suspending our disbelief on this one, ya? Ya. And do we really need to see Will reach for his neck EVERY time his hairs stand up? The CGI is great, he doesn’t need to give us another visual cue. Same with El’s nosebleeds, perhaps her body is getting more used to it by now? But who am I to mitigate a girl’s flow. David Harbour (Hopper) has been an acclaimed actor for years now, but he truly shines this season. Sometimes I have a hard time finding the words for acting chops, but I just had to let it be known. He really is a scene-stealer. Dacre Montgomery (Billy) really gets his due. He presents an ideal example of what good writing can do for a character. Billy was arguably the worst part of season two, and quickly becomes the best of season three. One last thing - correct me if I’m wrong, but, THE RUSSIANS NEVER SAID WHY?!

Julie the Film Student

In order to study any specific art major, students at my university had to complete an art foundations course. In 2005 I began two arduous semesters of drawing, color theory, composition, studio, and art history classes. After that, one submits their portfolio to the department of their choosing to get admitted to the program. It was a giant folding piece of cardboard full of work with your name and GPA written right on the front. That day sucked. That morning I got a call from my dad telling me my mom had breast cancer. So I found myself sitting in line for hours with all the other art hopefuls, anxiously contemplating our futures. After getting rejected from the film department, (and somehow accepted to the best sculpture program in the country?) my exquisite studio teacher declared I was robbed. At that point I had two films accepted into two separate student shows, and one had even been awarded. “They probably didn’t even open your portfolio because of your (shockingly terrible) GPA,” she said. So I confronted the film department director in his office, made a Pretty Woman-type scene of ‘big mistake, big, HUGE’, and stormed off to study Kinetic Imaging instead. And it’s a good thing I did.

Where the film department was committed to teaching antiquated formats like literal kodak cellulose acetate, Kinetic Imaging had the autonomy to work in many mediums, i.e. film vs. video. One could refer to it as ‘video art’. We studied animation, sound art, experimental film, and artists like Nam June Paik and John Cage. I created a lot. In spring of 2007 I made my crown jewel, my fourteen minute mockumentary about dumpster divers, as my final project. While there was a lot of artistic freedom encouraged, I couldn’t help but wonder what I was missing from a traditional film school education. How do you convince people to give you money to make your movie? Where does a producer have power over the director? What is the decision making process like at a big budget company like Disney? I spent two semesters in the program before I dropped out and decided to move west.

Flash forward to 2012, I found myself having spent five years working away without any more schooling. I was married, and about to fall pregnant with my first kid. I felt incomplete without more education. I spent two semesters essentially starting over at my new school. After decidedly unliking Thelma and Louise, proposing the director of (the highly racist) Birth of a Nation was simply a troll, learning that young children are actually aware of what commercials do, and giving birth to my daughter, I finally closed the schooling chapter of my life. 

So here I am! Desperate to have my many questions answered.

Isn’t it weird to see toilet paper commercials only ever filmed in bathrooms suspiciously large enough to film a toilet paper commercial in?

Why are all the moms in TV ads dressed so dowdy and similarly?

How are the props in hollywood stored and used? Is there a giant warehouse where prop masters inventory and rent out various stuff?

What is the conversation like between the person who designed Daenerys’ three-headed-dragon pin and the fabricator who created it?

Where is the line between friend and boss for producers on The Real Housewives?

Who ultimately makes the decisions on which shows get a green light at the upfronts? 

Are there contracts between movie theaters and distribution companies?

How exactly do art and commerce blend this harmoniously to create? Or do they?

Euphoria

HBO must have noticed how successful dark, young adult dramas have been, cuz they’re certainly jumping in feet first. With a giant stretch across the aisle to the adult-adult audience as well, Euphoria ups the ante in putting bleak teenagers on display. Think ‘Kids’ meets ‘Trainspotting’ meets ‘Varsity Blues’. When this kind of material hits the screen these days it’s usually in a watered down, poorly acted CW show. Zendaya takes the role of a sad strung out teen and brings chops, depth, and weight to her performance. Seriously though, other than the fact that she is clearly gorgeous, I can’t take my eyes off her. Her story is so sad, it’s impossible not to feel sorry for her. 

The subject matter is turned up to eleven. We’ve seen the common tropes of teenage peril before - sex, drugs, reputations, and insecurities. But much like the kids in these stories, they have been TURNT. We witness struggles with addiction, imbecilic white boys, a trans teen navigating dangerous situations, and an alarming dose of social media. There is a strange and perplexing mix of sweetness and darkness in Euphoria. I’m going to attribute that idea to the blurry show poster of a stoned Zendaya adorned with glitter and awash in pink and purple. The production quality matches the extreme yet modern standard the stories set. The visuals are neon and moody, surrounded in a metaphorically obvious shadowy atmosphere. As we see here, directors and cinematographers get a lot of fun and freedom whenever parties or drugs are happening on screen. There's a great moment where the camera delicately rolls around the set, carefully tracking and turning. The imagery gives me an impression of what the Euphoria mood board had on it - hazy neon signs, Migos, Sydney Sweenie’s Handmaids Tale sexy-voice, molly, unsolicited dick pics, and 'Clueless.' Although the drama takes itself quite seriously, there are moments that feel over the top and contrived - such as the underage drug dealer, the overly moody voiceover, and moronic boys asking 'R U A SLUT OR A PRUDE??' The whole time we kept turning to each other saying 'surely this isn't how things really are in high school right now, right....?'

Not sure if I’ll keep watching, I probably will. Anytime there are teens doing adult things on screen it freaks me out to my core, but I think I’m here for this glossy, glittery and jittery ride.

Julie the Production Assistant

Any wannabe filmmaker pre-YouTube knows the obvious first step to breaking into the industry is production assistant work. I had two experiences being a PA on actual real life sets.

Sometime around 2005 I got a tiny gig as a production assistant for a TV shoot. It was some sort of Tim the Toolman Taylor’s Tool Time handyman show on the DIY network in DC. My mom knew the director of photography, who had previously worked at C-SPAN as a cameraman. So I spent the day doing various tasks, like helping the sound guy with his equipment, and covering the logos on table saws with black tape. Then I had to sort of re-cover them in sawdust so it looked natural….At one point I took a lunch order and spent what felt like a decade trying to figure out how to get to the nearest Subway. By the time I got back, everyone, including myself, was STARVING. I do have a distinct memory of eating the best tasting subway cookie I had ever had. (??? TBH this sounds like me.) It was a long, fairly simple day. There were six people there. I was paid, but I don’t remember how much.

The only other real PA chance I had was while I was in college. A friend told me the show Nanny 911 was shooting locally and they were looking for film students to come do PA work for one day. I rushed to the shoot, signed some sort of production…agreement…?? Then found myself not quite knowing what to do. It seemed like I wasn’t going to be very helpful….but I eventually jumped into the fray and made myself useful. I was stunned and amused to see the crew had placed giant lights all over the family’s house, just out of the camera’s frame. They had even matched the paint in each room so viewers couldn’t tell there were extra light cords climbing the walls. The crew was told not to speak to the Nanny 911 family, as it was the last day of shooting and they needed to stay somber to say goodbye to Nanny. Do you remember Nanny 911?? You’re essentially encouraged to judge these helpless, desperate parents and the brats they're raising. A nanny would swoop to their rescue and teach everyone how to ackrite. It’s of the subgenre I call ’At Least It’s Not Me - Reality TV’. (Hahahaha boy was I wrong about that one. There should be an actual Nanny 911 hotline… ) ANYWAY, I met some LA producers who were excited to show a young college coed the various spreadsheets required to have everything run smoothly. One of them gave me his card. I think I still have it! That evening I had to assist in driving a giant van back to a lot. On the way back the director was asking me about my future and what I wanted to do in life. I told him about how thrilling I find the industry, how exciting working in TV could be, how badly I wanted to be a director. But first and foremost, “I want to be a mom.” He was like LOL DID U NOT JUST SEE THOSE WILD KIDS WE FILMED?? No, he didn't say that. But he was surprised by what I said. 

I’m glad I got those two days to learn about set life, since I have yet to do professional PA work again…

Perfect Bid: The Contestant Who Knew Too Much

I’m willing to bet that anytime you see The Price Is Right these days you are immediately transported to staying home sick. Is there anyone out there who hasn’t fantasized about studying up and having the game challenge YOU? What would happen if you were to catalog every item and its price ever put up for bid, then memorize said catalog? Perfect Bid: The Contestant Who Knew Too Much answers this question. We watch fanatic Theodore Slauson as he recounts his many tapings and accurate bid guesses on The Price is Right. The story is absolutely thrilling. To witness someone ‘take the house’, so to speak, is even more exciting than playing the game. At a short and sweet hour and ten, Perfect Bid is a jaunty little documentary. It covers the topic well, has great interviews, and tickles your game brain. 

It’s interesting to watch someone really dive into an obsession…… Ted reminds me a lot of my dad, actually. HEY DAD I KNOW YOU READ MY BLOG -  HAVE YOU SEEN PERFECT BID/DO YOU AGREE??

Fleabag / Miranda

There’s been a big movement in the industry to show ‘real’ women full of flaws, questionable decision making, and ‘unlikability’. While it might be a horrific realization to men across the nation, women rejoice and breathe a collective sigh of relief. FINALLY, we are being portrayed in the media for qualities other than utter pleasantness! Phoebe Waller-Bridge writes and stars as Fleabag - a modern, single, insatiable British gal dating in London. We quickly form opinions after we see her delight in shoplifting. We watch her journey of theft, expert level negotiating, sex, and a puppet-like on and off again boyfriend whom she navigates through turmoil for her own amusement. 

The show is known for its flawless breaking of the fourth wall. This is when a character acknowledges the presence of a camera. Waller-Bridge is able to sweetly charm a suitor, deliver some contradictive sharp wit while she burns the lens, then snaps back into seduction with ease. She is an actress incredibly full of depth. She possesses an important trait every actor should strive for - surprise. Waller-Bridge pulls many mugs and faces at camera. While expressive, she manages to control even the slightest muscles in her face. The editing in Fleabag is a style worth studying. Quick cutaways and sharp edits keep the comedy feeling fresh and unforced.

I heard on the ‘gram that ‘Miranda’ is what some refer to as the originator of the BBC quirky quick-witted lens burner. So in an attempt to learn more I just got sucked into her 2009 sitcom on Hulu. And I must say, Miranda has me laughing more than Fleabag! While I do enjoy Fleabag, I think I’ll explore Miranda a little more….Miranda Hart looks straight into the camera to plead with viewers, desperately seeking encouragement during moments of social awkwardness. The live studio audience cackles at the various prat falls and silly antics of a single woman living alone and desperate to date. Miranda is at the butt of every joke. Like any great comedian, she puts the audience at ease by immediately poking fun at herself, her size, and overall appearance. Miranda’s show has me hooked. I’ve revisited it more than Fleabag, in fact. I can’t believe how much I’m actually cracking up at! I can see how this show would inspire a more polished take…

Both shows are fabulous! But as I’ve said before, what kind of American would I be if I wasn’t pitting women against each other?? Overall, I’d simply categorize Fleabag as a bit naughty and Miranda as a bit nice. Now go watch both and report back!